Thursday, March 31, 2011

.late night God time.

The start back up of my blog tonight will be my God time notes.

"When you're faithful with the small things, I'll bless you with bigger things." A promise given to me following the fear that came with the vision of God's non-profit. To think I actually forgot the fear that followed that. I was nervous that I could never accomplish such a task. And of course, I couldn't without Christ's direction. But today I find myself with the exact same fear I had 3 or 4 years ago. Why is that? God I pray that you will take my fears, my doubts. I am weary from trying to depend on my own strength for this plan... week and I can't handle the anxiety and stress that goes along with it. Though the weight is slowly being given back to you. I beg of you to just take it all. Release me and free me.

Yet again referring back to first calling into missions- Matthew 10. The overall things I see that relates to this situation

1. "For you will be handed over to the courts and will be flogged with whips in synagogues. You will stand trial before governors and kings because you are my followers"
-the journey won't be easy. In fact things will get interrupted along the way and I won't know why they are happening.

2. "But this will be your opportunity to tell the rulers and other unbelievers about me"
- The hard things that I will come upon along the way are just going to actually better the end result. Even expand the kingdom of God. I may not know why things are going on, but just know it's part of God's plan. Is it possible that this period of confusion and waiting is part of this?

3. "God will give you the right words at the right time. For it is not you who is speaking - it will be the Spirit of the Father speaking through you."
-God will give me direction when the right time comes. Direction can't come from me, it must be from the Holy Spirit. Be Patient.

4. "But don't be afraid of those who threaten you."
-Don't let the journey scare you.

So God, this is a journey and the times of not knowing and the difficulties I will face are actually part of your plan. At least you know I will face seasons like this. I can't let fear get the best of me. Holy Spirit will guide me with the next step, and speak, when he knows the time is right.


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