Church this morning! Showed up at 9 though when there was only service and it was at 10. So got a coffee and killed some time at Wally world! Church was good!
For some reason I got thinking though in the middle of service about a past vision that God has given me. Back in July 2008 on my mission trip to Mexico with YWAM. I wrote it all out what I saw. And I'm being totally open with my journal entry.
"Are spoke in the morning during Verano de Fuego about finding your identity in Christ. For a few months before this trip you had placed a vision in my head. A vision of a orphanage/Christian school type place. A safe and loving place for kids to give them a home and a Christian education God I wasn't sure if this came from you, but yesterday a spiritual battle was going on inside of me as Are was speaking. The devil continues to tell me it is too big of a job for me. that I can't do it and that it would never happen. I asked you to reassure that it was from you. She started talking about a new and old man. It became obvious to me that it was you when she talked about fear. She had us pray about the lies from the devil and I became overwhelmed by how powerful this fear was and broke down. When we prayed in groups Are began to tell me how she could see me doing this. That you told her that I was proven to be faithful in the small things and now you trusted me with bigger things. Greg later said the same thing while talking about Faith and finances."
The vision is still clear in my head. Even what the building looks like. I feel as though there is so much vision to it that I can't even possibly explain it all in words. It's incredible to feel such a thing. It's a place of safety. Where kids can receive tutoring, learn new things (like instruments, art, dance), learn how to get a job in the real world, get financial support. A place where kids won't just get kicked out or thrown out of the system at 18. But will be there like a family for them. A place where they can learn of a heavenly father that loves them. Big dream. Big vision. And I have no doubt in my mind that's its from God. But this past year I felt discouraged because God has not opened any other missions opportunities. I feel as though I am sitting and waiting for something to happen. that this building will just pop out of the ground and I'll be dropped off in a car and bam, I'm there to lead.
But as I sat in service today, I don't know what hit me, but God reminded me of my experience during an interview at the domestic violence center in Kirkland. I was surprised at the lack of programs for children who experienced domestic violence. The majority of clients at the center were between there 20s and into their 40s. There are children support groups that happen at the same times as adult groups for children who saw the violence. Annually there are 3.6 million cases of child abuse, neglect and abandonment in the United States. Proportionally I did not see where there was enough support for children in such situations. Not just at the domestic violence center, but anywhere. There are very few programs for children. Even if they are programs that give them the same opportunities to be kids while they are in foster care. God reminded me of the vision after this. Like "why don't you do something about it?"
This is something I'll continue to pray about, but I think God may have vision for that center maybe right here in the US. For foster kids. Not necessarily a home, but a place for them to come and be encouraged and allowed to be kids. I know there is a similar place called "treehouse" in seattle that I hope to volunteer next semester at, but I want this to be Christian based.
I have the vision, I just need direction. So I'm waiting, praying, and listening for God. But my perspective was opened up that God doesn't want me to limit my location. That just because I'm not in another country doesn't mean that I'm not being a "missionary." When the thought came into my mind, the same fear I first experienced when I got the vision tried to slip into my mind. "Now how in the world would you start something like that! How would you get money. You don't have the means nor the connections." But just like everything else in my life, I know God will provide. Both vision, direction, peace and finances for whatever his vision is. I just pray that I am open to that.
I'm really excited. It's the passion I prayed to God for. The reunite me with that passion for this vision. Don't limit your visions from God to your own thoughts.