Sunday, April 10, 2011

.pure heart.

Settling into Starbucks for some God time! God has been moving in great ways and this morning in Choralons during our last concert I realized how many things God has been teaching me lately! It's crazy! So I'm typing today to hopefully capture all the thoughts that I get to lazy to hand write -- my hand gets sore and I can't express things the same.

Lesson 1
A beautiful reminder of the seasons that we go through. I remember writing this poem this past summer and it is a constant reminder of God being with me in every part of my journey.

"Beauty Through it All"
Running, running, running,
Thinking I hear the sound of freedom
Thinking the open field so beautiful and green
was mine to take on.

slowly getting burned out.
Come on God, keep me going.
Let me run with freedom
and sing of your joy.

out of breath and begging God
if you want me to stop just tell me.
He told me, and yet I still kept running,
lungs aching from the strain.

God said stop.
So I did.

Standing there,
He had been telling me to run with freedom,
so I did.
But the field was approaching the mountains.
And it was time to stop.

Take a deep breath,
Take God's hand,
and start the hike.

I don't know why I was hiking up it,
why not just turn left and continue to run,
but God said, "come on, take my hand, let's go."

I questioned am I doing the right thing,
but then I remembered that through the strain of the hike,
a peace was coming over me that couldn't be explained
other then the Holy spirit hiking with me.

So I continued....

The strain of the hike was worth it,
for I reached the peak and found the beauty of the
night stars shining above me looking down from heaven
say, "yes my child, I am here."

As I laid under those stars, God still next to me,
I realized that through all strenuous hikes up the mountains,
ones we don't understand why we're
on after running through such a beautiful field of freedom,
true joy results.

A joy that lets you stand at the peak
and yell "Here I am god! Take me as I am!"
I am not worthy to live this life here.
I complained and questioned as we started this hike,
but I know now that you are always here.

There is a reason for the hikes we go on,
to reach the beauty at the top.
To know his peace in the unknown.
To see that He is Lord of my life.

Run free in the field that seems endless
but know when the mountains are before you,
it's time to take hold of God's hand,
and Go.

This perfectly captures my perspective on life. Sometimes during worship I put myself in this secret place that God has created for me and Him. The field is of golden grain. The sky is a dark blue. Getting dark blue. Yet my world around me is lit like the sun is shining. Everything glows and colors are bright. I can not explain it because it is something that God has created for me that has not been seen by me on earth. The wheat comes to my shoulders. Sometimes I dance in that field. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I just lie there with God and let Him wisper his promises to me. 

There are other times when I'm trekking up a mountain. I'm in pain. It hurts. Yet God's holding my hand and is completely in love with me. Guiding me and bringing complete peace over my life.

There are other times when God and I reach the mountain top. The dark blue night sky is filled with more stars then I could ever explain. The wheat still surrounds me but we stand, sit, lie in awe of the beauty. This beauty that God has created for me after the hard hike. A green tree to my right that symbolizes life. Life abundance. Blessings. Renewal. 

This is my secret place with God. It's where he meets me and reminds me that in every part of this world -- fields of running joy, mountains of pain, and mountain tops of life -- He is with me. A beautiful place God meets me at. 

Right now I sit at the top of the mountain. Amazed at the beauty. Yet for some reason I'm questioning how God's used the hike I just went on. I've been resting on the mountain top for a while. And now It's time to sprint down the mountain for something new. A new field of joy to run it. Yet my fear holds me back. My doubts. I know God has created me. He looks beyond my faults. He see's none. He's sees what I'm capable of and wants me to go for it. I want to go for it. But doubt comes in.

This morning Taylor spoke before Choralons about King David. David was destined to be king. That's who he was. The king of Israel and Jerusalem was shoveling poop with his father. Taylor related that to President Obama elect scooping poop in Kansas before stepping into office. Sounds ridiculous right? But no -- that's what David was doing. Did David question why he was scooping poop when he knew he was supposed to be doing something bigger? No -- he was faithful with the small things God gave him. 

I realize I must be faithful where God has placed me right now. Right now, at Northwest University, taking the classes I am, whatever working I'm doing this summer, is important to where I'm going. I can't be afraid of the small things if I expect the big things to happen. I need to take a step and let God use right now. I pray God takes all fear and doubt of these little things so that I can be used for God's big plan. I want to be faithful.

Lesson 2
I'm still reading the book Captivating that I started on Spring Break. In that book it talks about a woman's heart. It invites people to rest and be content. It rejuvenates those around her by just being herself and being there for people. I want to be like this. I want to have a pure heart that flows from God and can invite people in. I want to be that for others. Jesus reflected so naturally. Not forced. Last night Pastor Chelsea Smith spoke about John 7:37. Part of that verse goes...

"Out of our heats, rivers of water will flow..."

How beautiful that verse is. That's what I think of when I am talking about this. The living water is capable of doing anything. God has placed certain people in our lives to pour this living water into. This water will pour out of our true self. But the water will not flow purely out of our hearts if our heart isn't pure. 

I like the imagery Chelsea gave us. She said it's like a mountain spring. It's source is fresh and clean. Pure, cold and refreshing. Yet 30 ft down the stream, dear are doing their business in the stream, people are bathing in the stream... the water is unclean and undrinkable now. 

Our hearts are the same way. The Source (the Holy Spirit) that pours into our heart is clean and fresh. If we are putting dirty things into our hearts though, then the water coming from our hearts will not be fresh. It will not speak life into people. When the pure water flows through your heart, does it come out clean so people can drink it? Your impact is not based on what we do, but on our heart....  Just some thoughts.

Passage for the day and a few excerpts .... Deuteronomy 31:1-8 

"Do not be afraid and do not panic before the. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."

"Be strong and courageous! For you will lead these people into the land that the Lord swore to their ancestors he would give them. You are the one who will divide it among them as their grants of land. Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." 

These are the thoughts for the day. So many things buzzing through my head at one time that I didn't know how I could possible express them all at once without typing them. And I end with praying God will give me a pure heart and show me how to keep my heart pure. 

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